exactly one year, one month and five days after I watched my first Greer Garson movie, I have seen every single film she’s made.
the following is an inarticulate, rambling, teary, feels-filled account of…. like everything that i feel about greer. it is my failed attempt to put into words everything she means to me. (also, it is probably not even english. my english teacher would give me an f on this.)
so, it’s over. and i really can’t believe it, Greer has been everything to me for so long that i can’t even remember how the hell i lived without her. i saved The Miniver Story for the end because a) i knew that she died (thanks Michael Troyan) and b) i really couldn’t deal with those feelings and emotions even if it was only in a movie. and really it was a fitting movie to go out on because it was a beautiful movie and she had never looked more beautiful to me, and we (Walter, Greer and I) ended it all together. I was watching the movie and it never really hit me that this was the very last one until about fifteen minutes from the end, and all of the feelings just started to come over me and a pit started growing in my stomach, it was like dying, i just started thinking of all the movies she’d been in and how i had felt watching them and how she was the first person that could really make me truly feel so happy watching them and feelings such a connection. i was trying to come up with a word that described how i felt about greer and all i can think of is that she’s like my fairy godmother. whenever i’m down i feel like she’s always there just cheering me on, even if it’s just through movies. she’s made me laugh and cry and fill my entire self with complete joy. wow this is getting really cliche right now but this is honestly how i’m feeling.
i just kept thinking about the first day i saw her it was a wednesday and i had recorded this random movie on tcm only because it had gregory peck and i hadn’t seen very many old movies before i was still getting my ~sea legs so to speak. and there was this “greer garson” and i had absolutely no idea who she was but “well! she was a cool name anyway” and man did my life change the second she appeared on screen. she was like mary poppins for me but just so beautiful, my idol and everything i could ever want to be. i remember all the feelings just unfolding as every minute of the movie passed, just completely in awe of everything that one single person who i’d never met but felt like i’d known since i was a fetus could make me feel. greer has done all that; she’s given me such a purpose i feel. before, going through school and ~lyfe was very formula. not that i didn’t enjoy it or get satisfaction, but i knew how my future would be, what i would study, what was necessary to get there - a straight line. but then once i saw greer i discovered all these new things and seeing as much as i possibly could of this magical person that had completely changed my life.
i really apologize this is probably coming off as corny and cliche and everything but i really mean every single word.
there have been a couple of times and people where i’ve questioned all this and whether i was a “good enough fan” for greer but i won’t even say much about this because this is just too much of a monumental moment for me that it’s not worth spoiling. greer has been everything to me this past year and will always be and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.
i can’t even begin to explain all that Greer has done for me from the moment i finished Valley of Decision. just sitting back from the movie and thinking what the heck was that, because i’d never seen anything that made me ~feel so many feelings all at once and of course i was ugly crying all of the ugly tears.
this is really not as eloquent as i would like it to be tbh (how do you english) but i just want to say that because of greer and my complete fascination at how one singular person can completely change my lyfe and how i view things and how i spend every part of my day has caused me to always want to learn as much as i can, and read and watch as much as humanly possible and i’m consistently stunned at how much i learn all the time and how much more this is for me to learn.
i’ll stop now because this is a novel in and of itself, but all i can really say is that greer has been everything to me and it gives me so much happiness to spread her tremendous love and talent and beauty. there is absolutely no way that i can possibly articulate how much i love her and worship her and how much she means to me.